Some military axioms that really make sense

1. “Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.” – Paul Rodriguez

2. “A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit” – PM Magazine, the Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance.

3. “Aim towards Enemy” – Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

4. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

5. If it’s stupid, but it works, it isn’t stupid.

6. Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.

7. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

8. If your position is so well fortified that the enemy can’t get in, you can’t get out!

9. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

10. Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.

11. When in doubt, empty the magazine.

12. If God had meant for us to be in the Navy, we would have been born with gray, baggy skin.

13. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.

14. You, you, and you… panic. The rest of you, come with me.

15. Odd objects attract fire – never lurk behind one.

16. Incoming fire has the right of way.

17. Don’t look conspicuous: it draws fire.

18. Tracers work both ways.

19. Five second fuses only last three seconds.

20. Who cares if a laser guided 500 lb. bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?

21. The easy way is always mined.

22. Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last, and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.

23. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

24. Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.

25. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

26. If you can’t remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.

27. Teamwork is essential. It gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

28. Push to test . . . Release to detonate.

29. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

30. Any ship can be a minesweeper .. once.

31. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

32. Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.

33. The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions

a. When you’re ready for them.
b. When you’re not ready for them.

34. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

35. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

36 When you’re short of everything but the enemy, you’re in combat.

37. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

38. If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn’t plan your mission properly.

39. The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war

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